Over the past decade or so, I have had the most amazing journey of knowing myself through my instincts. I have had a lifetime opportunity to bare in front of my eyes the myriad instincts that engulf me: elevating instincts, healthy instincts, harmless instincts, mediocre instincts and harmful instincts. Some of them I overuse [read abuse], others I consciously try to avoid. Needless to say, there are many others deeply embedded in my psyche of which I am yet unaware. But I am delighted when I look back upon the path - rather imperfectly treaded – and relish the multitude trials and tribulations I have confronted myself with joyously and with reducing shame.
Persevering to identify and ward off the mediocre instincts – many of them a conditionings of an imagined physiological affliction and many others a conditioning of a foolish, misplaced fear – has been fun. The most difficult part of the process of accepting something. Once accepted it will require due commitment to self-accountability and sustainable living to ward off the urge to take-up a convenient route. Mediocre and unhealthy instincts like slothfulness, inertia, unhealthy daily routines and taking shortcuts are the easiest to identify. Instincts which conflict a core value but apparently further a ‘hygiene need’ [real or imagined, like surviving, eating, living well] can be fairly easy too to identify.
However, identifying and accepting harmful instincts that have operated under a vicious cover of a widely accepted positive value or principle has been more challenging. Interestingly, in this category I also include instincts that are healthy in isolation, but which can potentially become harmful because of ‘abuse’. They have a compelling logical reasoning and principle to fall back upon. A simple example being under the cover of finishing a work in time, I might be forwarding a document to someone without self-reviewing it diligently. Normally such an act [powered by the negative instinct to be hasty] is associated with a strong self-justification [covered by the principle to be timely] even though the gaffe maybe easily noticed by others and contradicts a larger principle or value [to give a good/nice experience to the reader and to be associated with high quality deliverables].
We face this instinct every day. Like overdoing something good [like working, social service, praying] and converting a sweet spot into a comfort zone [this is when we overuse a healthy instinct and make it harmful] or when we run away from a discomfort zone [raising a touchy issue and resolving it, avoiding a emotionally challenging situation, exercising that bit extra longer, keeping one’s mouth shut etc.] under the cover of a saleable value / principle [viz. rectitude, a discussion may hurt the other person, exercising will cut time away from helping at home, talking will help someone etc.]. While the principle in isolation is valuable and potent –relative to the context, the principle is plainly acting as a cover. At best that cover is preventing the person from realizing a larger goal and at worst it can plunge the person deeper in mediocrity.
I feel ‘shame’ [as a translation of the term ‘lajja’] is such an instinct – though not necessarily the most potent of such instincts. There is a positive social value associated with shame [at least is some societies] and there under the cover of shame we live in comfort zones for a lifetime. Values like being discrete and respectful also are regular culprits in covering up harmful instincts of not challenging oneself - to connect, to stick one’s neck out, to explain – fearing a reprisal
But normally, subjecting myself to a third assessment has helped immensely. The principle of expecting the same from myself as I would expect from someone responsible and dignified: Would I have justified and let off another person with a similar behavior in the same situation? Or better still which behavior of other persons in awkward situations I respect most and is there an opportunity for me to change? An affirmative answer to such questions have given a reason to look deeper and find a hidden sup-optimal instinct, fed by an under- cover ‘principle’. I have loved this journey to develop self-awareness to develop the necessary insights to watch out for the subtleties of the mind and the games we play with ourselves.
June 30, 2012
Bhubaneshwar
Persevering to identify and ward off the mediocre instincts – many of them a conditionings of an imagined physiological affliction and many others a conditioning of a foolish, misplaced fear – has been fun. The most difficult part of the process of accepting something. Once accepted it will require due commitment to self-accountability and sustainable living to ward off the urge to take-up a convenient route. Mediocre and unhealthy instincts like slothfulness, inertia, unhealthy daily routines and taking shortcuts are the easiest to identify. Instincts which conflict a core value but apparently further a ‘hygiene need’ [real or imagined, like surviving, eating, living well] can be fairly easy too to identify.
However, identifying and accepting harmful instincts that have operated under a vicious cover of a widely accepted positive value or principle has been more challenging. Interestingly, in this category I also include instincts that are healthy in isolation, but which can potentially become harmful because of ‘abuse’. They have a compelling logical reasoning and principle to fall back upon. A simple example being under the cover of finishing a work in time, I might be forwarding a document to someone without self-reviewing it diligently. Normally such an act [powered by the negative instinct to be hasty] is associated with a strong self-justification [covered by the principle to be timely] even though the gaffe maybe easily noticed by others and contradicts a larger principle or value [to give a good/nice experience to the reader and to be associated with high quality deliverables].
We face this instinct every day. Like overdoing something good [like working, social service, praying] and converting a sweet spot into a comfort zone [this is when we overuse a healthy instinct and make it harmful] or when we run away from a discomfort zone [raising a touchy issue and resolving it, avoiding a emotionally challenging situation, exercising that bit extra longer, keeping one’s mouth shut etc.] under the cover of a saleable value / principle [viz. rectitude, a discussion may hurt the other person, exercising will cut time away from helping at home, talking will help someone etc.]. While the principle in isolation is valuable and potent –relative to the context, the principle is plainly acting as a cover. At best that cover is preventing the person from realizing a larger goal and at worst it can plunge the person deeper in mediocrity.
I feel ‘shame’ [as a translation of the term ‘lajja’] is such an instinct – though not necessarily the most potent of such instincts. There is a positive social value associated with shame [at least is some societies] and there under the cover of shame we live in comfort zones for a lifetime. Values like being discrete and respectful also are regular culprits in covering up harmful instincts of not challenging oneself - to connect, to stick one’s neck out, to explain – fearing a reprisal
But normally, subjecting myself to a third assessment has helped immensely. The principle of expecting the same from myself as I would expect from someone responsible and dignified: Would I have justified and let off another person with a similar behavior in the same situation? Or better still which behavior of other persons in awkward situations I respect most and is there an opportunity for me to change? An affirmative answer to such questions have given a reason to look deeper and find a hidden sup-optimal instinct, fed by an under- cover ‘principle’. I have loved this journey to develop self-awareness to develop the necessary insights to watch out for the subtleties of the mind and the games we play with ourselves.
June 30, 2012
Bhubaneshwar
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