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Goading! The Cocoon of Assurance. For best results with Pan-pasand Candy.

Time immemorial, ladies have been branded as goaders - twas actually an euphemism for women being stereotyped as ‘naggers’. I even recollect Allan and Barbara [the Pease family for novices ;)] citing an example from olden days where a bechari wife was dunked in the cold river for nagging her poor hubby a bit too much…[ungrateful man!]

Infact there is very eerie way the dunking used to be done for naggers those days [in UK, if I recollect correctly], like they have this person in a stool and way it goes down under freezing cold water….and they used to call it by some specific term [will look it up sometime].

As I ponder over this – I have queer mixture of amusement and alas feeling. Yah, the other feeling – I mean, kuch tau alag has to happen for me to be writing about goading [or nagging as the pessimists may say] here.

Over the years, I really believe a great gift for men [or for that matter women] is to have a ‘nagger’ around [I would like to take it as a ‘goader’ actually]. I mean – well meaning that most naggers, most of the time, that they are – can actually get us less sloppy. Don’t you think so?....And lets not have stereotypes as to gender and creed…even though probably ladies do this job better, because they tend to think more about others.

So I guess the complainers, instead should embrace the goading and bask in assurance of the associated sunshine of someone thinking about their well being. Well ‘complainers’ know this – so actually no one complains from the core. Its is just a momentary outburst of irritation – post the realization that ‘gosh! the goading is for the right reasons man; how cd I do or not do [as the case maybe]’ – aint it?

So goaders don’t worry – keep going. Don’t worry about the results – they will never come to your satisfaction and there will always be wry reaction once in a while – just keep doing what you do best. That is, pointing out the sloppiness in people – it makes the world a better place. Hai na!! Would help if, you have a pan-pasand in your mouth…[am sure - espl the ones with 70s or minus DOB - can recollect Archana Joglekar’s lovely face and hazel eyes]....which many of the class goaders actually already do. Perhaps, its is useful for you to put to use your infra-red super sensory capabilities while goading…and check if it is hurting the self-esteem of ur cared one [thats when the person feels like a victim instead instead of feeling cooconed …ironical, nah?]. In the same vein, many times I have felt – that it is at those moments the ‘victim’ needs the nagging most [equally ironical].

I would like to sign-off with one of Rahul Dravid’s post match conference statement [as the captain a consistently losing Indian side]…I was actually trying to adapt this to fit into this piece in some place [this is kinda digression...but let it remain]..but here goes the paraphrase of what we had said, to respond to media hype/hysteria…..We were not as good as what we were made out to be when we were winning, [btw there was period when India had won 14-15 matches on the trot batting second]….and not as bad as we are made out to be..when we are losing in a heap….

To sum up…the nagged don’t really feel as bad as they make it to be [I hope] and the goaders, don’t really consider themselves to be gods of perfection…as it may seem to others….so lets enjoy the goading…and just wish that it comes with infra-red glassed..and with a mouth ful of pan-pasand.

Jan 29, 2010
New Delhi

PS: I will put this up as it is – time for a nice walk in the chill!! – without a few good re-reads, also a wee bit unsure..but never mind…this is not for newspaper audience.

PPS: Hv had one round of more excuses for glaring errors..:)..they are all mine...Jan 31, Nai Dilli.


  1. i read this facebook actually. what would YOU know about goading or nagging! you dont know half of it!

    i can see that the blogging bug has bit you badly now. enjoy!

    keep posting - enjoying ur posts!


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