The
other day I read that Mother Teresa had once remarked “‘The brain is getting
smarter, but the heart is not catching up.”; as a response to the query ‘..why, with all the scientific and
technological advances, more couldn’t be done to help the unfortunate’? More such
questions have lingered on, - why are there unfortunate people in the first
place? and what is being unfortunate?
Is
being unfortunate, being in a constant state of stress? Which then manifests in
negative energy in myriad forms at all levels – viz. eco-system, country,
community, workplace, family and self.
Earning
levels for a family or a community are not likely to have the most dominant
correlation with being ‘unfortunate’ as
there are large number of people in lower incomes levels who are not
unfortunate. Putting it differently – if we substantially increase income
levels of an ‘unfortunate’ person or family or community – will they
necessarily cease to be unfortunate?
The
fundamental reason why we ever get unfortunate and remain there for long enough,
is because we decide to cling on a to an image of good or bad – that is not in
sync with a real world. We decided to remain in self-denial. Maybe, we were too
ashamed to accept something as it is and wanted to look for a work-around. Thus
we miss judged reality, stunted wisdom and acted in ways that furthered the
misfortune, rather than working out of it. Instead, we could have chosen to shamelessly
confront reality and heeded the simple message that is time to look inwards.
Sometimes
it is very easy for us to give good advice others as an outsider, but in
exactly similar situations involving us we look exactly in the opposite
direction for a solution. Being unfortunate is embedded in the cliché ‘common
sense is most uncommon to find’.
What
we need is need is humility and not shame driven by self-image. What will help
is a understanding that human fallibility is inevitable. Not accepting a
fallibility is starting a vicious cycle of self-denial. How to limit them is
the question. The need of the hour is compassionate objectivity instead of
blind attachment; sustainable value centric aspiration instead of fanatic
demands to meet unsustainable needs.
Only
when we can handle the feeling of shame and failure in mature manner, as an
individual and as a race, will we not need to resort to self-denial to handle
an adverse feedback.. As a society, we need to imbibe that we do not need to be
winning every small battle at every stage in life to get kudos. Similarly as a
society we need to give assurance that if one loses a battle he/she need not
press the panic pangs of failure. It is only then that we can take adverse
feedback as a gift and use it to our advantage. As we will not resort to aggression
or withdrawal as a response, instead we will respond with mature and determined
rear-guard action to address the root cause.
Lets
play a game – lets list in the secret nook of our mind we the three things are
ashamed of now and we don’t want to face it ourselves. :D. That’s my gift to
myself [because I will play the game to you] and to you.
Jul
1, 2012
Bhubaneshwar
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